Part 2: Of London's "Bread and Games"* - Recycling the Past

Welcome back! So glad you could drop in, again.

Good Queen Bess, bloomers akimbo, arrives at Stratford ... or was it just a double, falling in for St. Danny's pageant?

TBH, It's Less About the "Bread" ...

... and actually more about the "Games". Given this city's pre-existing panoply of premier, public entertainment purlieus, Londoners rarely experience the prospect of a new one. Recently, however, a former work colleague (Steve) invited me to join him at arguably London’s newest, to watch West Ham United meet Manchester City in gladiatorial combat at their new home (since August 2016). Which I call “arguably London’s newest premier venue” because, at heart, it’s not really new at all. It’s just a recycled old Olympic (and Paralympic) stadium; one specifically designed NOT to have become a football venue. Surely, only Seb Coe could preside over THAT sort of sporting legacy; but it’s OK. It’s not his fault, apparently; he never opened that attachment.

Stadium construction commenced away back in May 2008; since when it’s been described variously as “not an architectural achievement”** and "tragically underwhelming"***. Nominated for the 2012 Stirling Architecture Prize, it lost out to a laboratory block in Cambridge.

The Southern approach to "The London Stadium". Not so architecturally important as some building in Cambridge.

Perhaps most critically of all, the stadium has quickly established "a reputation" with those football fans who are expected to use it. Here’s a selection of their views, lifted from just one facebook stream****: “don't think it works as a football ground”; “strange-looking … lots of gaps”; “soul-less; full of suits”; “don’t think I wanna go back”; “horrible ain’t it?”; “clearly a quick bodge job… it was never going to work”; “Lord Coe is to blame for that. But we're stuck with it”; “I hate it… the fact it's not a football stadium is what gets me”; “(instead of) a carnival atmosphere ... we have this c*nt of a soul-less bowl. The view is sh*te. It's very hard to generate atmosphere. The stewarding is terrible … We are the most plastic team in the UK”. There’s even a (far-fetched?) conspiracy theory, expressed by some: that the heavy-weight stewarding is intended to coral fans (and their remaining, post-match money) irresistibly into the nearby shopping centre and casino.

A FaceBook 'meme' passes harSH judgment, in neon.

Undaunted, Steve & I set off for Stratford (six miles from Tower Bridge). Now, Shakespeare was not renowned for his love of sport. His idea of a Premier League insult was to call someone a “base football player”*****. Apparently unaware of The Bard's antipathy for sport, however, Danny Boyle adopted an ‘Isles of Wonder’ theme - inspired by “The Tempest” - for his laughable, lavish, ludicrously self-indulgent and overly-reverenced 2012 Olympic opening ceremony.

In Dick Van Dyke's authentic cockney accent: "Love a duck and let's 'ave a knees-up. Gawd bless the NHS, your 'Ighness!" - as Prospero famously never, ever said.

One commentator observed: “His homage was noble in intention… but fundamentally misplaced”******. As was any expectation that Steve & I might have harboured for a tight footballing contest, that night at TLS.

Surprise! Surprise! Commemorative CD's are still available; but would Old Bill have appreciated Danny's sporting homage?

As for my personal, neutral view of The London Stadium:

1) It's isolated: a long-ish walk from congested Stratford station (or, in fact, from anywhere, really). We had more luck heading North, for Hackney Wick, after the game.

TLS (floodlit, centre) in the middle of the old Olympic Park. Stout walking shoes are recommended.

2) As a result, lots of people arrive very late. It's a long way from the nearest pubs; and it takes much longer to get in, through the mass stewarding, than you might expect.

The new roof, alone, cost over £41 million.

3) There are too many bizarre, 'blanked' areas; leaving the place feeling un-atmospheric; like – errrm, a converted athletics stadium ... perhaps unsurprisingly(?).

'Blanked' areas: a fundamental flaw in the stadium's conversion design? (Photo: Tony Mullins)

4) ... But the sight-lines are good.

Even in the very back row of TLS, you're not as far away from the pitch as at some other premier sporting venues; but it is difficult to see those 'fading and dying' bubbles!

I’d score it 6 out of 10, as a stadium. The trouble is, it just doesn’t feel like “a football ground”; but there are very good reasons for that … and I’m not just referring to the performance of the home team.

Yaya Touré beats Randolph from the penalty spot, in the 67th minute; making it 0-4 to City, in front of an already-emptying TLS. West Ham "Untied" were simply second-best, in all departments - including their stadium.

My overall verdict? I'll borrow from wise Old Bill, again: “There's no such sport as sport by sport o'erthrown” *******... probably!? I await Danny Boyle’s official re-opening ceremony with interest.

Let's talk again here soon.

Your Addicted London Buddy,

Max ("F-H-W")

"I'm dreaming dreams,

I'm scheming schemes,

I'm building castles high.

They're born anew,

Their days are few,

          Just like a sweet butterfly." ********

Star Man? Granted the freedom of Stratford by his generous hosts, Man-of-the-Match Gabriel Jesus grabbed a goal and an assist on his first Premier League start. So where now, for City's Sergio Agüero?

Footnotes:

* From “Satire X”, by the Roman poet, Juvenal

**Ellis Woodman, “Building Design” architecture critic

***Tom Dyckhoff, “The Times” architecture critic

****Various FB contributors quoted: Tim Cooper; Jo Troy; Tony Lloyd; Robert Noonan; Harry Lee William Moore; Kevin “DeBruyne” Rhodes; Steve Herbert; Jamie Sutton; Billy Clark

***** Shakespeare's “King Lear” (Act 1, Scene 4)

******Oliver Brown, in The Daily Telegraph (23rd April, 2014)

*******Shakespeare's “Love's Labour's Lost” (Act 5, Scene 2)
********from the original lyrics of "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" (J. Kellette, J. Kendis, J. Brockman & N. Vincent, 1918).